Me, myself and no one else

I think there is something rather revolutionary about just talking. For me, there is always the need to discuss, to have some sort of confounding depth to the blogs I write, but I think talking is fine. More specifically: chatting about myself. Understanding the writer can give you some insight into the writing can it not?

So that is what I am going to do. Chat. Talk about me, my life, endeavours, regrets, failures and successes, dreams and fears. I think it will do you, the reader, some sort of benefit if you knew what I was all about. So here it goes...

When I look at successful people around the world and wonder where they started from, I can't help but question if they knew they were going to be successful long before they actually became the success we all know them as today. I wonder if Sir Richard Branson ever thought about success when he was a kid. If he had that yearning in his heart to do something great! If he had this certainty of it brooding in himself.

I did and still do.

For some reason I always knew I would be successful. For the most part it was because I promised myself that I would after seeing so much loss around me. But then there was the growing desire to want to do something that was worthwhile. I mean, if I am putting myself on a limb, I want the world to know. I don't want to risk for a something small. Getting to your dreams is a hard road they tell me, but if it is going to be a hard road, at least its going to get me somewhere BIG! If you get my drift.

But the road is not the hardest part for me. In life (and I will attempt to avoid depth) I have always been fine with the journey, its always been the starting and the end. Finding the start and reaching the end is always the hardest part. Certain experiences in my life have lead me to have a certain maturity and understanding about issues in life. Yes I get tired and yes I will come to a point of collapse, but that has never kicked me out of the journey because I have understood that there will be those times of breaking and reforming. I promised myself I would do all I can to get somewhere significant. That means that I cannot and will not let any part of the journey disqualify me from getting to the end.

Start and end.

This is where I stand at present. I have all these passions within me and so I decided to start with one of them - Writing. Making this blog was one of the attempts to be able to grow my vocabulary and style my writing. To see if there was a market for my writing which has proven not so successful as there isn't much exposure to the wide world.

So, I attempted to write a book. However, there was so much I didn't understand from personal experience which I find necessary in the production of a great book. Research is also a huge part of the writing process, but that is something I would like to have done after experience. I would rather have tried and tested something for myself and wrote about it, then stand as third person and write what I saw. I want to know what it feels like to fail at a grand level. I want to know the ins and outs of it. To smell, touch, see, feel and hear everything about the journey and to be able to document that. This I feel is far greater than researching another's life.

So I have decided to take up the next thing...ACTING! After mentioning this to a friend, she said to me, "You are definitely dramatic enough!" This made me smile because I taught myself to make life exciting. Every story you tell, tell it with a bit more enthusiasm; make it better than it was because someone is never as excited as you about your stories. So by making it almost unbelievable, you make it somewhat interesting in their eyes. Its acting.

I always hated bad acting. I would rather grate my skin than watch Shortland Street and all its fail acting. Yet to justify all this criticism myself, I want to try it out and see if I can do any better. That is the problem with critics that are not in the field they are criticising. Ridiculous really.

Now that I have my new passion to aim to fulfilling, I have broken this down into tasks that I need to accomplish before the end of the year. One of them which I think is the most critical is getting training. It has been a long time since those drama classes at Kaitaia College so brushing up on these skills will be more than needed. The second would be to find some small parts to build a portfolio out of. Then an agent. Brad Pitt didn't get parts because he was an amazing actor, but because he has an amazing agent. They are the reason why a lot of Hollywood actors and actresses are where they are today on blockbuster movies. My timeline for this is a little sketchy at the moment as I don't know how long it will take for me to do the first two, BUT it is definitely somewhere in the mix.

So hopefully I gave you a good insight into what I want to do and where I want to go at the moment. Life is something that needs to be worked at and sought out. Life isn't having breath, its being able to justify every breath with work that you love to do. I want to live to the fullest because I only have around 60 years left. I dare you to do the same!

-JP