Moth's Wings

Love. I used to imagine it as an illusion given by the great storytellers of old. History tells not of it. Its story was in myths and legends of gypsies and soothsayers. When spoken of, it carried an ethereal angst about it. Like an ancient Mayan city, something to behold, it was undiscovered and rare. However, my concept of love has rather evolved.

I do not talk of God's love for us or vice versa, although it would be something heavenly. No, reader, I am talking about the love of another human. I am an adolescent in the grown-up world of love as I have yet to fully experience it. It has yet to grace my presence in all its glory. I have had plenty of other feelings disguised as love, but soon the embers of that fire burned out, smothered by my discovery of their fraudulent behaviour.

I'm beginning to realise that it is not love that has evaded me, as surely it would have swept by. No, it is me that has evaded it. I find it hard to trust and thus to walk into the dark would be certain loss. Trust? Not that I don't trust others, rather, I do not trust myself. I don't have the ability to accept disappointment and therefore when it comes to disappointing; it would be beyond me to allow it. It would be unacceptable within my standards to cause someone else loss. And yet, it's fruit is all but avoidable.

At present, I am extremely partial to Moth's Wings by Passion Pit. Although I have only just recently had their acquaintance ["Holla" to Katherine van Hutten], I have completely and utterly fallen for them. My favourite stanza so to speak is:

"You come beating like moth's wings,

Spastic and violently.

Whipping me into a storm

Shaking me down to the core."

It made me think of love. I do not claim to know the meaning of this song, but as most art is left open for interpretation, I only assumed they did the same.

It made me think of how love comes rushing into your life like a flood, like moth's wings so unexpected and turbulent, not easy to turn away. It shakes every part of you; you become unaware of your surroundings because all your senses allow you to notice is the thing coming at you. It frustrates your logic; your logic trying to reason with you why it is false. Many times have you had this and many times has it proven unreal. But this, this is something different. Shaking [you] down to the core. And this is love.

From concepts past, I wondered why such a divine thing would find its way to me. With beliefs that love was the stuff of myths, how then did it inhabit my space?

Where do you go from here? Where should you allow your foot to tread? And where should you forbid yourself to go. I am here within the mix, unaware and uncertain. Love gives you no rest. It provides no safe shelter; moths to a flame. So certainly one question remains...

Does love last forever?